I’m blessed and pleased to announce the release of Fallen Pastor: Finding Restoration in a Broken World from Civitas Press on January 2.
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Over the next few weeks, I’d like to share with you some intimate thoughts and ideas I’ve been holding onto as I’ve been writing. I’m also going to revisit my story as well as give you a peek into the book.
I had a huge introduction to write today, but God had other plans. Something amazing happened today and I have to share it with you. Let me begin by telling you that our God is amazingly providential and gracious. Now, let me tell you how He once again reminded me of this.
I’ve been working on endorsements for my book for the past few weeks. It’s a nerve wracking task as the publication date draws near. Along with it comes feedback that is greatly welcomed, but also comes the final deadline. I’m usually filled with some level of anxiety anyway, so I’ve been a little difficult to live with.
Rodney Cox, CEO of Ministry Insights, sent me his endorsement today and I was thankful to receive it. In his endorsement, he referred to a story in the introduction of my book. In this story, I related to a time a couple of weeks after my fall from ministry. I ran into a church member out in public. She was shocked to see me and asked me, “Why did you do it?”
I didn’t have any answers for her that day. Since that day, I have changed considerably, thanks to God’s grace. In the book, I write that my answer today would be different to her. I haven’t seen her in almost two years. I’ve wanted to see her and apologize to her for the hurt I’ve caused her, for words that I’ve spoken to her and to hopefully heal that relationship as much as I can.
I was sitting in the lobby of the hospital where my wife, Allison works, reviewing Rodney’s endorsement. I was about to forward it to my editor when I looked up and saw that woman. I had to catch my breath. It was unbelievable.
I called out to her and asked her to sit with me. She did and I immediately began asking her for forgiveness. She was gracious to me and we had a redeeming conversation. We worked several things out and she asked, “Are we okay?” I said, “Absolutely, thank you.”
Two minutes later, Allison walked out. I had tears in my eyes and she said, “What’s wrong?” I said, “You’re not going to believe this.”
There have been several moments along the way while I’ve been writing this book like that when God has grabbed my attention. At times, He has said, “Ray, you need to be more humble.” At other times, He has said, “Ray, you’re on the right path.” They’ve been little things, but they were unmistakably God.
All that to say this – in the words of one of the eleven pastors I interviewed for the book, “God took my mess and turned it into His message.” I don’t deserve the overwhelming grace He has shown me, but I suppose that’s why it’s grace.
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Fallen Pastor: Finding Restoration in a Broken World is available for preorder at Civitas Press. It will be available soon at Amazon.com and will also be available for the Kindle.
